i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
