remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
