I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
