when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize