We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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