come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Are we still banned from the library?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
