Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
