nut hugger
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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