This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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