Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize