dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
