Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Small penises have feelings too.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize