Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
