Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
