I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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