i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
