omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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