Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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