wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
