I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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