i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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