so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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