i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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