I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
