Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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