My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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