That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I want a musical about memes.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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