If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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