she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Hippo gnu deer
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
