Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
