Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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