I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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