you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Your dad touched me again.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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