So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
