And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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