I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize