you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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