So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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