This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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