so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize