There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
