I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
