I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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