def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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