I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
