I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
