..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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