i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize