yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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