don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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