Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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