Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
