its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
