I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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