Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Randomize