My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
